In 2010, Gene Chizik made us do a double take with his signature white, short sleeve windbreaker. It was sleek, practical and exuded just the right amount of attitude. Now, Gus Malzahn has everyone talking (and tweeting) about his game day attire.
Behold, the Holy Trinity of football garb — the sweater vest-turtleneck-visor combination.
Coach Malzahn’s sweater vest is sweeping the Plains, and it will only be a matter of time until it sweeps the nation and the world. Cue “Mean Girls” quote:
I saw Gus Malzahn wearing a navy sweater vest, so I bought a navy sweater vest.
Since the debut of the sweater vest, the Auburn Tigers have been undefeated. Coincidence? I think not. A testament to the sweater vest’s magical powers? I think yes.
Coach Malzahn is a wizard and that's all you need to know. That's not a finger he's pointing, that's a wand. I rest my case.
In the spirit of Halloween, here’s a guide to perfecting the sweater vest-turtleneck-visor trifecta. This is for you — Auburn men who haven’t been tricked by their significant others into dressing up in matching costumes.
Step one: white turtleneck
“My turtleneck doesn’t have the Under Armour logo on it, will people think I’m a peasant?”
No, silly. That’s what a black sharpie is for.
“I had a sweater vest once. It was pastel and argyle, and I wore it for my family’s 1998 Easter photo. Will this work?”
First and foremost, pastel and argyle are two things that should never be worn by any male with self-respect.
If you’re feeling crafty this Halloween, then just buy a navy T-shirt and cut the sleeves off. Redneck, but effective nonetheless.
Step three: white visor
If you’re a guy living in Auburn, then chances are you have a white visor.
“But the only one I own is a vintage Master’s visor I won in an intense bidding war on Ebay.”
Now, just top the look off with a pair of glasses and you’ll be driving the Gus Bus this Halloween and, hopefully, to a victory this weekend in Arkansas.
The parody Twitter account @Malzahns_vest says it all:
“In my opinion, we are the vest in the SEC right now.”